Crushed Dreams

Crushed Dreams

So much of this blog is happy and upbeat. I like to look on the positive side of life, to give my children all that I can, to make their lives amazing.

But now that they are getting older there is so much that I can’t control. Both girls are away from me for 6 hours every day, forging a life of their own at school, making friends, having arguments, making achievements and mistakes in equal measure. I cannot protect them as much anymore and the world can be a cruel place.

This week there were elections for school council at school. Bean who is 8 was desperate to be voted onto the council. She worked on her election speech for a week. She asked the teachers and me for help. She practised in front of us and in front of her nanny. She told me that she could imagine the moment that they said she had been successful.

I tried to help her, I tried to prepare her for the fact that she might not win. I told her I would be proud of her no matter what happened.

The worst happened – she didn’t get it.

Her little face as she crossed the playground after school looked so sad. She had held her tears in all day at school but she was bitterly disappointed.

So much of school life (and life after unfortunately) is a popularity test. I’ve never been the popular one either and I would have shied away from such opportunities knowing it would be futile. But she hasn’t learnt that yet. Is that a good thing? Her life is full of hope and optimism. She has been surrounded by love and great things. Now she is learning that life isn’t all fun and games, that we don’t get everything that we want, that life at times simply isn’t fair.

These are horrible, horrible lessons to learn. And whilst my head tells me that we all have to learn them sometimes my heart just screams why? Why do I have to prepare her to live in a world where the prettiest / cleverest / funniest girl wins. Why do I have to explain to her that we can’t have everything I want? Why do her dreams have to be crushed at the tender age of 8?

She handled it well. She shed a few tears and we talked about it. She is going to go for another opportunity next week. Her dream may have been crushed but her spirit has not been. We went to the park for some carefree fun to take her mind off it. But this is just the first of many of life’s disappointments, and it makes me wonder why there isn’t a better way, why life has to be so hard at times. Is this the beginning of her changing from a child into an adult?

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I look at this picture I took of her in the park that afternoon and I can see a sadness in her eyes even though she is smiling. I know that today the evils of that Friday at school have been more or less forgotten but I know that there will be many more disappointments and that each one will take a little more shine out of her innocent eyes. I can’t create a better world for her, but I guess I can help her where I can, and where I can’t help her, I can be there for her, doing everything I can to keep some of that light shining.

I’m linking this post up with Katie’s Ordinary Moments, where I normally link up special little ordinary moments in our lives. This moment was not a great ‘special’ one for us, but it was definitely ordinary in the sense that disappointment happens to everyone, and it is the fact that it is so ordinary, so expected in some ways, that makes me so very sad.

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20 Comments

  1. September 14, 2015 / 9:10 pm

    Oh bless her – it’s such a shame when they put themselves forward for something like that and get disappointed. At least she has you to comfort her, and definitely get her to take another chance like that – that’s what life is all about 🙂

  2. September 14, 2015 / 9:25 pm

    It’s sad that your daughter did not win but as you rightly said sometimes this happens. Its great that her spirit has not been crushed and that she is still putting herself out there. Chin up.

  3. September 14, 2015 / 9:41 pm

    It’s silly really because we all want to protect our children from these things. It’s impossible to though which breaks our hearts. But I guess we all went through those experiences as children, and you eventually have to learn how to deal with the unfortunate things in life. To be fair though, it seems your daughter has learnt the best lesson. And that’s to try again, and not to be defeated. You must be so proud of her. x

    • September 14, 2015 / 11:19 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment – I am very proud of her x

  4. September 15, 2015 / 12:10 am

    Aaaahhh bless…..it’s a horrible time when your child is disappointed. Stay strong, there’s always another opportunity.

  5. September 15, 2015 / 1:03 am

    Aw bless her what a sad moment, hopefully the next opportunity will be worth all the hard work. x

  6. September 15, 2015 / 8:27 am

    Such a lovely post. Sad your daughter didn’t win but as the saying goes ‘what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger’ and I’m sure she will go on to win so many things in the future 🙂 x

  7. September 15, 2015 / 8:27 am

    As a parent it’s awful to see your child disappointed especially when you can see how hard they have worked for something. I do think small disappointments in school settings help towards larger disappointments when children are in high school, university and in a working life.

  8. September 15, 2015 / 10:03 am

    It sounds to me like your daughter has a figher’s spirit inside of her – down, but not out! I know it’s hard, and we do live in a cruel world, but the fact that she is already going for another opportunity, speaks volumes about her!

  9. September 15, 2015 / 11:41 am

    Bless her cotton socks, school can be really cruel and it is true that it is often a popularity based decision. I know how it feels to be sidelined in favor for a more popular opponent.

  10. September 15, 2015 / 1:55 pm

    This is such a heartfelt piece of writing. We try our best as parents to shield our children from the bitterness of life. Sadly though, life’s lessons are only learnt the hard way. Good luck to your girl x

  11. September 15, 2015 / 1:58 pm

    Aw bless her, I am sure knowing she did her best will be what counts x

  12. September 15, 2015 / 2:20 pm

    Oh I am sorry to hear about this, it’s awful when we can’t make our children’s dreams come true, but we just have to think that each experience they have it something to learn from.

  13. September 15, 2015 / 6:01 pm

    It’s so sad they have to experience disappointment but I think it makes them stronger, I hope she soon gets over it xx

  14. September 16, 2015 / 3:34 pm

    Oh bless her <3 It is such a shame when they have to go through disappointments such as this 🙁

  15. September 17, 2015 / 1:22 am

    She is beautiful. It is great that she’s going for another opportunity. Never give in xxx

  16. September 17, 2015 / 9:57 am

    Oh bless her! I hurt SO bad if my children are upset or let down – and I have to try and not show it! Kaz x

  17. September 17, 2015 / 11:15 pm

    You just want to protect them from all those sad and upsetting parts of life, don’t you? Of course you can’t and it’s all part of growing up, but it doesn’t make it any easier to see it happening. x

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