Today I have been thinking. It’s always dangerous when I do that…no seriously, I have been thinking about whether I am the best mum that I can be.
This morning jelly baby was dressed and went down to eat her breakfast – chocolate Cheerios. She tipped some of the milk on her newly dressed self and as I was in a rush with the school run I left her in it. Of course she was dry within minutes but there was a grubby mark or two left from the chocolate milk.
Today also Bean had to take something into school to show something she was good at. Bean and a friend chose ballet so she took her ballet gear into school. I thought about sending her with her amazing gold tutu from her show last year but decided (without much thought) that her usual pink leotard would do. Of course the other girl wore a big amazing tutu from a show and Bean didn’t look quite as amazing.
Now I know that Jelly baby didn’t care that she looked a little grubby. She was happy. Bean didn’t really care that she wore the pink leotard, she is a happy child. But, it upset me. Why do I think that “it will do” is ok? Shouldn’t my children have the best of the best?
These are just a couple of examples of how I have let the ‘little things’ go. It was in the news this week that Carole Middleton always ensured her children were immaculately turned out. Name tapes were sewn in uniforms and clothes were pristine. I on the other hand got pre-printed iron on labels and most of the time don’t even use them, I scribble biro names on labels. Do I feel inadequate? Of course.
I know that it doesn’t really matter, my children are happy and well looked after and cared for. But today I was upset that perhaps I wasn’t giving them the best. Is my day clouded by my own busy-ness? I have to juggle work and housework and child-rearing but sometimes does that make me take the easy option? Would Carole Middleton have changed Jelly Baby’s clothes? Probably. Would she have sent Bean with the most amazing outfit? Definitely.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be Carole Middleton, she is just an example of another woman who has done it better than me, and is more successful. I know deep down that I am beating myself up about something silly, yet today I resolved to be less lazy, to give my children 100%, to be the best mum that I can be, in every little way.