I can only apologise for the long time since I wrote a post. To be honest the last couple of weeks have floored me a little. I think we are ok when we are in our little bubble at home but as soon as I read the news the harsh reality of our situation hits home and I get that claustrophobic feeling.
Every April we head out to the bluebell woods to take some pretty photos. Obviously we couldn't this year but we did find a small patch on our local walk so I had to snap a picture!
We've been chugging away with home schooling. On a Monday morning I plan out E's schedule with her - her days are very much full so a timetable works best for her to keep her on track. In the mornings I split the two middle ones up and spend one - on - one time with each of them while the other works on an educational app on the iPad or computer. So we get In the afternoons we work on a project together, usually something that J's school has set and I adapt it for Little Boy. We always try to go out for our one walk a day and it helps to burn off their energy and get a clear mind.
The children are definitely missing their friends, and getting sick of each other's company. It's difficult to be quarantined with a sibling you don't get on with and it's equally difficult to be the constant referee. There is no side that I can pick where I can make everyone happy, and make everyone happy is what I desperately want to do.
This week I had to take the baby to get his vaccinations. It was probably the first time I have been out of the house anywhere for a few weeks as we have been having our shopping delivered. It's so strange to see how the world is now. The doctor's surgery door is locked and you have to be let in and out by a receptionist. The nurse giving the vaccinations was wearing gloves, apron and face mask, it's very surreal.
This week was also the week that I gave the boys lockdown buzz cuts! We'd been waiting ages for clippers I had ordered to arrive and their hair was in a bad state! Even the baby had his first haircut - a number three all over!
I have got the impression over the last few days that people are starting to ease themselves out of lockdown, there are more cars on the road outside, I have started to see groups of people meeting up. The country is waiting with bated breath for Boris Johnson's next announcement, torn between wanting lockdown to end and being scared to go back to normal, and not knowing what that 'normal' might be.
This week I managed to decorate the front room. It was three days hard work but it gave me some much needed headspace from everything. I've also had a couple of work projects appear which is great, I feel like somewhere in the last 6 weeks I have lost myself a little, putting everything I am into everyone else.
Finally, I'd like to say this. It's odd, at times, being a blogger. I put my thoughts and words on a page to be read by anyone. It's a very vulnerable position to put yourself in, especially when you know that not everyone out there is friendly. I've been shocked to my core over the last few months at the behaviour of many people I would have called friends and I know that some of them might read these words now. I wonder what the fascination is with reading things written by people that you actively dislike, people that you go out of your way to be nasty about behind their back. Why you screenshot what we write and write nasty messages between yourselves. I wonder why those of you who don't actively partake sit idly by and watch it happen. I wonder what you are thinking when you message pretending to be friendly. I wonder why you think it's ok to treat us like dirt, because you feel that you know us because we share part of our lives online. I wonder why you expect it all, in exchange for nothing at all. It's another part of today's world that baffles me, people spouting 'be kind' messages whilst being the exact opposite. I feel like I'm living in an dystopian reality, balancing an invisible line between the awful world I am living in and the one I want to be living in and not really believing or having faith in either.
I'm usually quiet about all this, the dark side of blogging but I believe in standing up for yourself and for being passionate about what you believe in. I believe in highlighting the wrongs in order that we might live in a better world. Please help me let us live in a better world than this. We are suffering not only from a deadly virus of the lungs, but also of the heart and we need to cure both.