I can only apologise for the long time since I wrote a post. To be honest the last couple of weeks have floored me a little. I think we are ok when we are in our little bubble at home but as soon as I read the news the harsh reality of our situation hits home and I get that claustrophobic feeling.
Every April we head out to the bluebell woods to take some pretty photos. Obviously we couldn't this year but we did find a small patch on our local walk so I had to snap a picture!
We've been chugging away with home schooling. On a Monday morning I plan out E's schedule with her - her days are very much full so a timetable works best for her to keep her on track. In the mornings I split the two middle ones up and spend one - on - one time with each of them while the other works on an educational app on the iPad or computer. So we get In the afternoons we work on a project together, usually something that J's school has set and I adapt it for Little Boy. We always try to go out for our one walk a day and it helps to burn off their energy and get a clear mind.
The children are definitely missing their friends, and getting sick of each other's company. It's difficult to be quarantined with a sibling you don't get on with and it's equally difficult to be the constant referee. There is no side that I can pick where I can make everyone happy, and make everyone happy is what I desperately want to do.
This week I had to take the baby to get his vaccinations. It was probably the first time I have been out of the house anywhere for a few weeks as we have been having our shopping delivered. It's so strange to see how the world is now. The doctor's surgery door is locked and you have to be let in and out by a receptionist. The nurse giving the vaccinations was wearing gloves, apron and face mask, it's very surreal.
This week was also the week that I gave the boys lockdown buzz cuts! We'd been waiting ages for clippers I had ordered to arrive and their hair was in a bad state! Even the baby had his first haircut - a number three all over!
I have got the impression over the last few days that people are starting to ease themselves out of lockdown, there are more cars on the road outside, I have started to see groups of people meeting up. The country is waiting with bated breath for Boris Johnson's next announcement, torn between wanting lockdown to end and being scared to go back to normal, and not knowing what that 'normal' might be.
This week I managed to decorate the front room. It was three days hard work but it gave me some much needed headspace from everything. I've also had a couple of work projects appear which is great, I feel like somewhere in the last 6 weeks I have lost myself a little, putting everything I am into everyone else.
Finally, I'd like to say this. It's odd, at times, being a blogger. I put my thoughts and words on a page to be read by anyone. It's a very vulnerable position to put yourself in, especially when you know that not everyone out there is friendly. I've been shocked to my core over the last few months at the behaviour of many people I would have called friends and I know that some of them might read these words now. I wonder what the fascination is with reading things written by people that you actively dislike, people that you go out of your way to be nasty about behind their back. Why you screenshot what we write and write nasty messages between yourselves. I wonder why those of you who don't actively partake sit idly by and watch it happen. I wonder what you are thinking when you message pretending to be friendly. I wonder why you think it's ok to treat us like dirt, because you feel that you know us because we share part of our lives online. I wonder why you expect it all, in exchange for nothing at all. It's another part of today's world that baffles me, people spouting 'be kind' messages whilst being the exact opposite. I feel like I'm living in an dystopian reality, balancing an invisible line between the awful world I am living in and the one I want to be living in and not really believing or having faith in either.
I'm usually quiet about all this, the dark side of blogging but I believe in standing up for yourself and for being passionate about what you believe in. I believe in highlighting the wrongs in order that we might live in a better world. Please help me let us live in a better world than this. We are suffering not only from a deadly virus of the lungs, but also of the heart and we need to cure both.
It sounds like you have found a positive family routine in all of this madness. Unlocking will be strange and as a teacher I know how much that children Miss each other. Let’s hope it is safe for them to see their friends soon.
I thrive on routine so finding one that works was important to me. I agree, I hope it is safe soon, good luck if you are returning to work soon. x
I love the colour of your front room and how it contrasts so beautifully with the golden mirror and your lovely white furniture. You did a great job with your lockdown decoration.
Thanks so much!
I've been really enjoying reading your diary, so please do keep it going! Your blog is one of my favourite reads anyway.
The front room looks fantastic, and what an achievement (and you have plenty of time to enjoy it at the moment!)
(How is E? I keep wondering how she is and if the last tests brought you any closer to an answer)
Ah thanks so much! E is so much better thank you, not 100% but nearly there I hope. All the tests came back negative except to show she had an infection of some sort, no idea what. We have a follow up in June. Thanks for asking about her 🙂
It has definitely been difficult hasn't it, the uncertainty and the stress of it all. I can definitely relate with the sibling thing, my two are 5 years apart in age and it is super tricky to keep them both happy at the same time as they are at two completely different stages! Your front room looks fab btw, the colour is lovely! Stay safe and take care xx
It's the different stages that is the difficult thing isn't it! Thank you, stay safe too x
I think people have been easing up for quite a while where I am in London. I'd like things to go back to normal but it definitely isn't the right time just yet.
Definitely, I agree. Reports are that London's figures look great this week so hopefully that's good news for you!
Your front room looks beautiful. I love how the floor contrasts with the wall colour
Thank you! We hope to replace the floor after lockdown, it's so old and worn in places, it's one of the few things that we haven't changed since we renovated the house.
This has been such a difficult time for us all and I totally agree that we are all finding it hard to adapt to this new restricted lifestyle . Hopefully things improve and and we can return to normality .
I think mine are the same really missing their friends. I think we have a routine now though with homeschooling and a mix of projects.
It's so difficult for them to be without their friends who they see every day isn't it 🙁
Sounds like you have had an interesting few weeks with ups and downs. You have done amazing by sharing your thought and feelings and I hope you just ignore the negative comments which are out there.
Thanks so much, I will try!
I'm sorry you've had some negative experiences with people reading your blog, these people aren't worth your worries. Your home schooling routine seems really good, you've got a plan and that's great x
Thanks so much. I definitely need to adopt that attitude!
Looks like you and your family have been busy and are doing well. Love your decor it looks fab x
I definitely think people have been easing up especially since the announcement last week. There definitely seem to be more cars on the road.
I think so too!
I'm sorry to see that people have been sharing negatively about your posts and actively being nasty. Like you I always wonder why people seek to read the words of those they dislike 🙁
sad isn't it!
Mine are fed up with each other too and homeschooling is going downhill rapidly, one out of three is always moaning. It took 5 hours to do one maths task yesterday
It's painful isn't it! Same here, there's always one moaning or bickering, I find it exhausting!