After a stressful and difficult day, you long for the evening so that you can finally get some good ol' relax time. Unfortunately, far too many times, that same evening ends up being the most melancholy, depressing, AND stressful (the thing you're trying to get rid of) part of the whole day.
That's how real life sometimes works - dinner has to be on the table, kids need to do their homework, you're trying to answer last-minute work emails, and the laundry needs to be folded because it's been 2 days already.
Honestly, it's no wonder everyone is cranky by the time you finally get to go to bed.
Stress doesn't go down when the sun does. If anything, it builds up, and when you go to bed stressed, how can you handle tomorrow?
The 'Basics' of a Relaxed Evening
Everyone in the house has to know what to expect because that way - and only that way - there's no rushing and uncertainty, which is what causes stress for the most part (especially so if you've got kids).
What you want is predictability. Sure, it may sound boring, but predictability is what helps us adults snap out of 'work mode, ' and it gives the kids a clear sign that the day is slowly winding down; do your homework, brush your teeth, clean your room.
There's also the environment to think of.
Bright lights? Loud noise? Mess all around?
These are all huge no-nos because they tell your brain that it should be on high alert. The space you're in needs to be the complete opposite of this in order to actually slow down.
Dim the lights an hour before bed.
It's such a simple thing, really… but it can change the mood in the entire house.
You can also lower the noise incrementally as the evening goes on. At one point, you can even turn off the TV and put on some light/soft/slow music. Get both your body and your mind into 'relax' mode. Work mode is for tomorrow.
If you want to spend some time together and the weather is nice, go out on the deck, look at the stars, and enjoy family time. That's always nice. If you don't have a deck, think about building one because it's a very versatile addition to any home - you can do so much on a deck, it's really hard to describe in only a few words.
You really have to experience it to appreciate it.
So yeah, get a couple of estimates and compare your options. Just make sure the estimates are from builders/carpenters in your state, preferably closer to where you live. If you're in Nashville, for instance, you'll want a deck builder Nashville residents usually hire.
You get the point!
Build Consistent Habits
Predictability and routines are remedies for stress. Who would've thought…
Here are a few things you'll want in your routine.
Limited Screen Time
Limited screen time isn't just for kids, it's also for adults - especially during the evening/night (right before you go to sleep).
Screens don't do anyone any favors at night because the blue light tricks the brain into thinking it's still daytime. Implement a simple/straightforward rule for the whole household - everyone has to turn their screens off at least 30 minutes before bed.
This'll tell your body it's time to wind down.
Food
What you eat and when you eat have a huge impact on how well you sleep. You probably remember your parents telling you not to stuff yourself with that whole fried chicken or full box of pizza like 10 minutes before going to sleep, and you were like "I'll be fine…". And it wasn't fine.
Well, now (as an adult) that you know this, you can start practicing it. Do try motivating your kids to do so, as well. But perhaps try a different approach from the one that didn't work for you.
Have dinner earlier and keep it light. Less greasy, sugary foods and portions that aren't too big help the body relax.
The mealtime routine itself is great for calmness, so have your kids help out with setting the table or cleaning up after dinner. Make it into an activity you do together instead of a chore. Nobody likes chores.
Family Activities
For most families, the best time to have 'family time' is in the evening. So make great use of that.
Do a family game, or read a book, or do a puzzle, or binge-watch Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings for the 17th time. Actually, scrap that last bit, we did say, "No screen time before going to bed", right?
The point is to be together. Even if you aren't doing something together - everyone's doing their own thing - but you're all here gathered up, as a family. This means something. It's important.
Personal Wind-Down Rituals
It's important to spend time with family, but it's just as important for everyone to relax in their own way.
One person might journal, another could stretch before bed, take a warm bath, enjoy a cup of tea… Whatever it is, everyone should have the chance to pick something they want to do to wind down alone.
Conclusion
Evenings shouldn't be frantic.
All such evenings bring is going to bed stressed and then waking up in the morning still stressed.
Not good. Plus, before you know it, you'll be out of your mind 24/7.
Instead of going insane, work on your routines and make evenings a time to relax and rest truly. And if you think you can't for some reason, that's just your brain making excuses because it wants you to stick with what's familiar, even if it is hours of doomscrolling and turning your brain to rot.
Set a few routines, stick to them, and you'll notice a positive change before you know it.
Leave a Reply