Struggling With School

Two weeks ago Facebook was alive with parents posting pictures of their little ones in their shiny new school uniforms, stood by fireplaces and front doors, grinning with the anticipation of the new school year ahead of them.


Parents across the country felt a mixture of pride, anxiety, sadness and relief that their little ones were going back to school. Personally, we had a fantastic summer but we were more than ready for getting back to school. As much as I hate the early starts, the rushing around and the homework, the girls need that routine and get their brains engaged again.

We start September full of hope for the year. The girls went off so excited to start school and see their friends again. But as the days wore on, while Bean was fine and happy at school, it became clear that her little sister, Little Miss J was less than happy. She started trying to tell me she felt sick in the mornings. She asked to stay home. She dragged her feet and cried when I was taking her into school in the mornings.

Little Miss J is 5 years old. It broke my heart to have to drag her into school in the mornings. It upset me to see her so unhappy. She begged to me able to stay with me, her “mama” and I wanted more than anything to sweep her up in my arms and take her home with me and Little Boy.

It turns out that she was scared of her new teacher. She has had the same teacher at school since she started in nursery 2 and a half years ago and this was the first change she had experienced. Of course different teachers have different styles and her new teacher is a bit ‘shouty’ shall we say. I know her new teacher is a great teacher because she took Bean a few years ago. I know that she will make them work hard and she won’t take any messing about. She is just what they need in Year 1. I know that she is kind and loving but yes, she can also be ‘shouty’. Little Miss J has always hated being told off and even though she is a really good girl and so unlikely to be told off she was petrified of being shouted at.

So how do you deal with this sort of situation? There is no real problem with her teacher, it is all in Little Miss J’s mind. She was scared of change and frightened of being told off. In life we have to learn to deal with different types of people and Little Miss J will have to learn to deal with the fact that her new teacher is different to her old one.

The last few days have been a bit better. She is adjusting herself to her new teacher, and her new teacher has been great at helping her with the adjustment actually. I’m hoping that we are just having some teething problems and that struggling with school is not a long term thing for us. But I also know all too well that not everyone settles into school each year and this last two weeks have given me a real insight into how hard that must be for parents. To watch your child struggle, and hate to go somewhere that you must by law take them to. That is a real tug at the heartstrings and my heart goes out to all parents and children who have to struggle with that long term.



  1. September 18, 2016 / 12:37 am

    So pleased to hear she is doing a little better, hopefully things will keep improving with familiarity.

    • September 21, 2016 / 10:40 am

      Thank you, she’s doing a lot better this week thankfully!

  2. September 18, 2016 / 12:50 am

    Aww! Bless her….It’s such a change for little one’s when they get a new teacher, especially if they are a bit shouty. I’m glad to hear things are a little better. I hope they continue to improve x

  3. Sadiyya
    September 18, 2016 / 7:03 am

    Your post brought tears to my eyes, I am so glad she has started to settle in and I hope she is fine.
    We had similar problems during the last year at nursery 2 years ago when my daughter was bullied and the teacher did very little to help, it was a nightmare sending her in, she would be traumatised, screaming and clinging onto me for dear life. You are so right it really is so difficult. Leaving her at the school gates and hearing her cries used to make feel like a huge physical blow. My daughter is and was a friendly and well behaved child so it was hard for all of us. Now she is thriving in year 1 with a great teacher, so it does get better.

    • September 21, 2016 / 10:42 am

      Aw your poor daughter, it must be awful if they are bullied. I’m glad she is thriving now. xx

  4. September 18, 2016 / 8:41 am

    Great photo, glad to hear things are a little better. It’s a tough time for the younger ones

    Thank you for linking up

  5. September 18, 2016 / 10:33 am

    Aww, good to hear she’s doing a bit better. I hated the first year of elementary school too because the teacher was so scary, but it got better as well 🙂

  6. September 18, 2016 / 2:06 pm

    My children had a teacher just like that. They were petrified of her and they all sighed with relief when they found out they weren’t in her class BUT one year they were. They started off frightened but soon loved her. She was loud and scary and fun. She would tell them stories and make learning easy. I’m sure your little one will love her too xx #MySundayPhoto

  7. September 18, 2016 / 3:19 pm

    Oh no! I can totally sympathise – I remember not liking a new teacher after my lovely teacher went on maternity leave. It changed my little world for a time and I dreaded going to school as this teacher enjoyed making us all feel very stupid ;( I hope your little one is ok and glad to hear the situation is a little better already. Hope it continues to get better and better for her as you are right, September is about fresh starts and hope!

    Thanks for sharing!

    Leigh at Fashion Du Jour LDN x

  8. September 18, 2016 / 5:40 pm

    Aww I hope she settles in and sees through the shouty thing. It’s always a bit nerve wracking when it’s a new teacher they’re not sure of.

  9. September 18, 2016 / 9:34 pm

    Awww bless her. It must be such a scary time for wee ones. I hope she starts to settle in soon.

  10. September 19, 2016 / 12:52 am

    Aww bless her! I really hope it continues to improve for her, it can be horrible not enjoying school!

  11. September 19, 2016 / 8:09 pm

    Hope things get better. I hated primary school and actually was quite similar in that I would say I felt poorly etc.. With time it just got better! xo

  12. September 20, 2016 / 10:17 pm

    I am glad to hear that things are improving, I would suggest a home-school diary where you can and the teacher can leave any notes from the day eg. ‘little miss was upset this morning’ to each other. Also take time to speak to the teacher and just be sure that she understands for sure how difficult your little one is finding it.
    My heart breaks for her x

    • September 21, 2016 / 10:52 am

      That’s a good idea with the home school diary. The problem with their school is you can’t see the teacher’s in the mornings, just at pick up unless you go into the school and ask to see them which can be awkward.

  13. September 21, 2016 / 2:00 am

    Oh we had the same concerned with our little guy, too. And yes, it’s definitely not easy to see your child struggle as not everyone, even adults, are huge fans of change. So it’s totally understandable. That said, it’s great to hear that she’s doing much better!

  14. September 21, 2016 / 8:01 am

    Glad she is starting to do a little bit better – hopefully she will soon start to settle in more

  15. September 21, 2016 / 12:36 pm

    I so get this. Last week I have to literally drag my son out of the house too. He was never like this in the past years. They had a temp teacher as his current teacher needs to go somewhere. Again he adjust very well when theres temp teachers. Then yesterday he told me that the teacher told him off from finishing some work they are doing fast. This made hims cared of her. And the whole week that he is suffering I was just there telling him that its going to be okay. #mysundayphoto

    • September 25, 2016 / 3:46 pm

      Aw poor little thing. I hate it when they have temp teachers in that throw them out of sorts. I hope his normal teacher comes back soon and he gets back to normal x

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